A day in the Lion's Den

Last night was bountifull. God threw some of those skinny pig things down here. He is a weird god, you know, he gives us food but it seems only on his schedule. Anyway, we got three last night, usually we get only one, but we got three. Plenty of food to go around for 4 lions. Needless to say when i woke up this morning I was still full. I got up without opening my eyes and walked to the bathroom, and went back to lay down. AAHH!!! I swear to god I shit on the floor right then. God had thrown a skinny pig down while we were sleeping and some how we didn't wake from our food coma. Anyway I haden't seen him cause my eyes were closed and on my way back to bed he thought I was gonna eat him so he screamed like they always do. I was like, "Man i wasn't gonna eat you but if you don't shut up i will." Of course he kept it up. Carl, the biggest of us, who had been sleeping between Steve and Kyle grabbed their tails and shoved them in each of his ears. He then yelled something but it had not idea what he was saying cause the Pig was still yelling, so I tore out his throat. "What were you saying?" I asked with a mouth full of skinny pig. "I said, 'Don't talk to him it just sounds like you are roaring at him, pig don't speak lion." "Oh, oh well. Who wants breakfast?'